16June2011(Sad)

什么是爱情? 爱一个人爱到那么痛苦....我还该继续爱下去吗? 曾经答应过自己要放弃的, 却过了半年, 还如此的爱她...多次想要真正的放下她...却每次都会发生些事情, 另我检起希望,却要再次被伤害...快一年了, 这种欺骗自己的日子, 真的不想要了...好想有一天, 当我起来时,完全忘记了以前的确事...忘记掉我们之间美好与痛苦的回忆...好想给自己一个从新开始的机会...可是我的心...往往不服从我脑的命令...我不知...从何时开始,以跌到那么深了...没你的日子...就真的好痛苦...我真的很讨厌自己,会变成这样...真的很讨厌...

unsuccessful holiday....

today is third may.....next week suppose go malacca holiday de...but thing didnt goes smooth again....so end up i took holiday to sleep at home...this not the first time d....last time wan go puchong, bt end up couldnt go cuz someone "invite" me out....then suppose go play together with our class de people, but end up not all people wan go, so not enough people going....then wan go malacca with my family de, but then becuz of my daddy, tat y cant go again, next wan go malacca with friend, which is now, but then....haiz....really kanasai....one group here wan go sunway, another group wan go genting....y dun u all say earlier le??? after i took my holiday only u all start planning....really hate de lo....everytime also i cant go....i wan go holiday a!!!! so now??? next week 3 day i holiday at home....sleep at home, sometime really feel like asking wat is friend? after wat have happen past few month i really feel like friend is someone tat used u when they needed to...it is not good to treat them good, cuz u will only ended up used by them...there is no true friend in this world....everyone is alone de, friend is just someone who used each other for their own convenience......it is better to live by myself...dun ever rely on them...trust urself only...protect only urself....

"there is no true friendship in this world, everyone is just using each other..."

16 March 2011(AWAKENING)

today i suddenly hear tat someone gonna birthday this saturday(19 MARCH), so i try to ask few friend who close to the birthday girl any plan going on....then i get the same answer from all of them....ask xxx....in tat very moment, only i realize, we all really to rely on u d....but then, compare to them all, i think i the one who rely u the most...sincerely apologize for tat....from now on, i made a promise, i wan to become stronger, more mature, and dependable....so tat i can share ur burden...i hope....and...sorry cuz nvr think of u before...really regret tat....i promise i will be a adult....no more a kid....even if it is not for u, i also wan thanks you for making me realize all tat....i am not longer a kid....and i should act like a adult....20 years old d la~

28日

今天28日,
也是你在这工作的最后一天...
这整个月过得都算快乐,
因为有你的存在...
但过了今天, 要开始靠自己了...
总觉得自己很笨...
明明还是喜欢你,
可是却时常在你面前把自己弄得很花心的...
什么工作美女多...
能看美眉...
寻找目标之类的...
但却久久不能告诉你,
其实我一直还在看的都是你...
可能因为这样,
就算再美的女生出现,
也会觉得普通,
平时你说的话,
或你做的事,
我都在留意...
或许你觉得我很笨很傻,
因为你并没要我时常留意你,
但我也控制不了自己...
只能傻傻的在一旁静静的看着你...
有时, 能看到开心的...
有时,也能看到不开心的...
真的好傻啊我...
傻瓜一个
真的很傻...
或许...
我现在写的,
根本就不想你看见...
因为...
可能你知道了,
连朋友都做不成....
不懂,不知,不想知道,
总觉得, 你心中还有另一个他...
是谁呢? 不知...

算了拉,可能我们之间真的是对的人,错的时间吧...

寂寞

今天, 29日....
我,终于明白了...
原来,我是那么的不重要...
伤心时,总是一人...
快乐时,也是一人...
遇见苦难,想找人帮忙...
安慰我的朋友很多...
谢谢你们...
但...
能告诉我怎么办的...
却没一人...
没人能告诉我...
没人想告诉我...
那晚你们到底发生了什么事...
你,之前发生过什么事...
你,或许介意...
我并不介意...
我只想守在你身边...
求求你...
不要不理我...
好吗?
可能...
我现在写的...
你根本看不到...
但...
我有多在乎你...
你懂吗??

不开心

真的很不开心...
有心事, 却身边一个人都没有...
平时一起玩乐的朋友呢?
不知去了哪里...
原以为一切都能顺利...
结果...
却没一件事成功...
我真的不知道...
该怎么办...
或许...
我永远...
都是一个人的...
孤单的...
那就是我...
孤单一人...
过生活...

十二月,二十一日....

december 21.....
this day the feeling come again...
i feeling tat i dun like....
feeling tat i hate...
am i...
really tat....
failure?
i try so hard...
everything tat i try...
i do...
i undergoes...
is meaningless now...
one wrong step...
everything turn to nothing...
zero...
i really hate this feeling...
haha...
dun go think la...
single better...
single better...
single better...